Whom should I cheat? Myself or the others ?

It was a tough situation for me. I was not getting a clear thought about what I want. Should I listen to my heart or my mind was right? It was a tough call deciding.
I was stuck between my mind and my heart. If I follow my heart, I will end up Cheating on Aayush. And if I listen to my mind, I will clearly cheat myself. Deciding was getting tougher and tougher as time was passing.
I remember the day when Aayush proposed me. I just had entered the college. A new energy was building up in me. First time I was in such an energetic environment. However, no one talked about studies there like school. Every one was busy in making friends and relationship. And honestly speaking, I was quite liking it. Still I was trying to understand the tough words like boyfriends, girlfriends and relationship when Aayush proposed me in front of every one in my college. I didn't know him much but his cuteness and the way he proposed me excited me. And I ended up saying a 'yes' then and there.
Aayush is not a bad guy to be with. And I was really enjoying my first ever love relationship. But the fact was, I never loved him. I never felt something special for him. Yes, I get super excited when getting his call or sms but this can't be love.
Then I saw another person. He is not so handsome but he is the one for whom I started feeling. I don't know what he is and how better he is than Aayush but I know that I love him. This fact is again as tough to digest as a walking qutubminar. I never accepted it. But the fact is fact and I started ignoring the person whom I love. I carried my relationship with Aayush. I didn't want to cheat him anyway. I was being a loyal companion for him. However, I know that this is not the way things should go. I know that trapped in the word 'Loyality' I was cheating myself more than him. I was cheating on Aayush by not being with him completely. And I am cheating myself for being unfair with my heart.
Its enough now. I don't want to be in such situation for more. I want to listen to my heart. I also know the fact that the one whom I love, loves me too. And after one year of this tough situation, I have known both the guys better.
However, I am still stuck between Loyality and Love. What should I choose, my heart or my mind. Anyway, I am going to hurt at least one heart. Now it a big question that which one should I hurt, Aayush' or Mine...?
Still the Question is same. Whom should I cheat..? Myself or the others...??