Miss you dear friend.

Missing you dear friend. Missing you too badly. I can't tell you how I am feeling from last few days. I can't show you how much pain is inside. I just can't coz you don't wanna understand it.
You may not be feeling the way I feel. You may not be ready for this but the fact is 'I Love you more than anything else in the world'. I don't say that I can't live without you but there is no meaning of life without you. I have jusr became a meaningless person. And you are the reason dear friend. You have made me to live without the heartbeats. You have forced me to live with corbon-di-oxide. And I cant even blame you.
I may be looking happy to you. May be you are seeing smile on my face. May be you are thinking or forced to think that I am fake. But the fact is, I am crying inside. I want to shout. Shout at the world. Shout at the Almighty God. But cant do that. I am smiling but everytime I smile, the pain increases to another level. You cant see it. I am not fake dear friend. Every bit of my feelings are as true as the air around. My love is as true as the presence of sun. My emotions are as pure as mother Ganga. You cant understand it. You dont have eyes to see it. Even if you will try, I know that the people around you will not let you do that.
I am aware of my mistakes. Few of them I can correct but few I cant. U wish, I have the time matchine to go into 2009 and correct it. Its impossible. And I am paying for that mistake now.
You asked me for something when we last communicated. You could have asked for my life. It was easier to give than to not to see you any more. Its killing me like a sweet poison. Though I never expected anything from you, but still it hurts now. You were never with me but still I was happy with you in my thoughts. Now I am all alone without any one around who can understand me.
I know that it was not your decision. I know that still something is there at least. I trust you. Whatever I have observed from last few years can not be fake. I have faith in myself. Your every look, innocent and cute cant be fake. I remember everything. Everytime we crossed and you reacted a little. Those reactions can not be fake. But You cant accept it. You dont wanna accept it. The people around you will not allow you to accept it. Your ego is bigger than anything else. And I dont have an option to change it.
I wish I could change it. I wish you could understand me. I wish you will come by my side. But My wishes never come true. Despite your reactions. Despite broken me. The fact is I am missing you. The fact is I cant stop loving you. And I will wait for you knowing the fact that you will never come.