I am now 23. A much better thought I have developed. Though nOt matured and I love what I am.like
I have never been in relationship in my 23 years. I have enjoyed my status 'single '. But if be true, its heartbreaking sometimes. I have felt alone sometimes. I have felt crying sometimes and got no shoulder to cry on. I have missed that consoling voice sometimes. But the reality is I never got one. I always thought myself very lucky to have some great friends and really I am. But always they can't be with me to make me smile if I am sad. To make me feel better in my bad times. They are with me but they have their own life too and I don't complaint for that. coming on love. Its not that I never falled in love. Its not that someone never loved me. its just that I couldn't love anyone. Its just that i always thought I loved you but still I doubt that. May be I love you, may be I don't. May be you too love me. its just that I couldn't say it. May be I was afraid of saying or I never got confirmed that I really love you. sometimes I feel for you and sometime its all look bullshit. sometime i cry for you and sometime i hate you for no reason. sometime i pray for you abd sometime i dont even want ti give you a look. I never had a clear thought for you ib my heart. May be i loved you but you couldnt make that feeling strong in my heart. Its not that you are not beautiful. you are. very beautiful. I like you. I love you if you are the way i think or may be you dont deserve me as your life companion. May be i too dont deserve you but i never regret that. just because i know what i am, not because i am confused about you. i loved you may be but always been a confused feeling. i never undestood this part of my life. Never understood you. you are confusing. may b i never loved you. Anyway, best part is that i learnt writing. You were my inspiration in writing 75 songs and two romantic novels. I am sure i will b able to complete my third book too and yoi will be the reason. Thanks for that. Its all confusing. Next time i will.try to be clear.
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