Saturday 10 September 2011

Am I In Love…….?????




Love…. this is the most important and most amazing word in the world. Every bit of existence is related to this word. Every bit of relations, each and every thing which exist is related to the word love.  Either you love someone or something or don’t. But I am very confused from last one months regarding my love life which actually does not exist.  Every time only one question revolves in my mind “do I love her?”. I never got an answer. After thinking a lot suddenly one more question arose in my mind that do I really know what is love? And again I found no answer. That means  if I don’t know what is love then how can I be in love? But it is technical. If think logical then it is possible but in my case I don’t know what it is.
   When I saw her I liked that cute face. I thought I am falling in love with her. I kept following her. I used to waste whole lot of time to just get a glimpse of her. And if sometime she looked at me then without any confusion I assumed that at least she also likes me. I collected every bit of information about her but without asking anyone but till I don’t know that much about her. I saw her in each and every dream, each and every night. But still I don’t know that I love her or not. I think of her 24* 7, I fallen in love each and every time I saw her and her cute face and her cute smile but was that love or just ii liked that. I lost myself whenever she came in front of me, in her eyes, in her cute smile, in her cute face. I stammered each and every time I talked to her in dreams but never talked to her in reality.
    Every day I woke up and decided to talk her any way. I wasted a lot of time to find her every day. Either I couldn’t find her or if I saw then I didn’t make to even wave my hand and say hello…. My heart beat goes three times faster each and every time I saw her. My heart came in mouth after just a feeling that she is around. She is just by my side but very far from me.
   I forget my every tension when I see her.  Whenever I tried to ignore her, I just couldn’t. I don’t want to even look at her sometimes but when she comes in front of me, my eyes just glued to her like she has a magnet in her eyes, in her face, in her smile.   I don’t even want to talk to her but each and every time I see her, want to say her, what I feel. I want to ask her the most important question of the world which has the smallest positive answer. Every time my eyes wanted to say her that I love her, I want to spent my whole life with her, I just want to look into her eyes for my life time, I want to see that most amazing smile which get me recharged for till the end of my life, I want to follow her without even asking her that where is she going, I just want to say that I will keep her deep in my heart and save her from every difficulty, I want to give her whole the happiness of world, I  will not die without her but I cant also live without her. But I never had that courage to say these to her.  I want to walk with her for each and every step I take.  I want to feel her each and every moment I live.   But is this possible I wondered. I am confused enough to think or not to think about her.
     Still I don’t know that is this love or something else. If this is not love then I will love to fall in love again and again with her.
I don’t know what she is. But she can be my life.

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