I am alone.. at home thinking about what to cook. I am getting confused. Anyway, the point is, I am alone, yet not alone. I have someone in my mind, in my eyes and in my heart with whom I am sharing my loneliness. No matter how far she is, she never leaves me alone. She smiles in my eyes. She talks in my ears. She litsens to my lips. She gets angry in my thoughts and cools down with my breathe. And she feels it inside my heart. Running in throughout my body with the bloods. How can I be alone.
Anyway, a lot happened with me in last few weeks. Yes, finally something happened. And still nothing happened if you see it. But my eyes says, "I saw it". My heart says,"I am feeling the essence of it". She celebrated her birthday and I was all alone again on such a special day. Of course she was there in my thoughts. I wished for her and as usual, my wishes never comes true, as yet. And yet, knowing this fact, I am wishing for her to be by my side. Such a fool I am. But you know what, at some places, its better to be a fool.
During this period of few weeks. I met her numerous times. I came across her a few times. I told her a lot of things. Don't expect me to share it here whatever I said to her. It was just for her. Anyway, I realized that, the talks of heart can never end. No matter how much you express your feelings by words or without it, it all looks as little as few at the end of the day. You feel that you have still a lot to say. You have still a lot to express. I am feeling it. However, only god knows if I will get another chance. Another chance to say something, to letsen, to take care, to hide her from the world. I am still wishing for it.
I told her that few colors gets better while on her, she stopped thinking about those poor colors. I said that ecery living or non living smiles with her, she stopped smiling for us. I said she is the moon and she made the days and nights both dark for us. I wish, I could have kept it in my heart itself then at least we could desire for my moon from a distance. Tell you the secret, my moon is more beauty than any other moon in the world. Shhhh.....!!
She said she want to know me but didn't gave me a chance to let know about me. Now, its a different story altogether. I dont know where it is heading. I dont know what is going on with her. I dont know what she thinks about me. I know only thing that what I feel for her is not going to change anyway. She is the first one and last one for me. She is the most special person in my life and will remain so. I have been waiting for her from last few years and this wait will go untill the last hitch of my throat. I wish.....!!
Just I want to say, "Please forgive me... I can't stop Loving you."
Anyway, now I know what to cook and I am going to prepare for my food. Will be back soon with few short stories and poems. Thanks
